SUPPOSE YOU’RE IN A GROUP project
meeting for your English class. The team
leader suggests staying up all night in the
library to push in some extra research that
nobody really wants to do. You think it’s a
bad idea—and you’ve got a physics exam
the next day. But everyone else is nodding,
so you chime in with a half-hearted “Sounds
good!” Fast forward to 3 a.m. The group is
in the library as planned, but is miserable,
scrolling TikTok instead of working. It turns
out that no one wanted to stay up all night;
they just assumed everyone else did. Welcome
to the Abilene Paradox.
WHAT IS THE ABILENE PARADOX?
Management professor Jerry B. Harvey coined the
Abilene Paradox back in 1974. He drew it from a reallife
anecdote: On a scorching afternoon, his family was
lounging comfortably at home when someone suggested
driving 53 miles to Abilene for dinner. No one
objected, assuming the others were keen. The trip was
a disaster—hot, dusty, and the food was mediocre.
Back home, confessions poured out: The mother-inlaw
went along because she thought the others wanted
to; the wife agreed to please her husband; and so on.
As Harvey put it, “If everyone’s on board, why are we
headed in the wrong direction?” It’s a paradox because
the group ends up doing something none of its members
truly supports, all in the name of avoiding rocking
the boat.
WHY IT HITS HARD IN COLLEGE?
For college students, this hits close to home. Campus
life is a pressure cooker of social dynamics, where
you’re constantly navigating roommate drama, club
activities, study groups, and even party plans. You
might stay silent on a bad idea because you don’t want
to be the spoilsport in an environment where fitting in
feels paramount. Why does this happen more in college?
For one, you’re at a stage where social capital is
important. Fresh out of high school, many students are
hyper-aware of peer perceptions. Hierarchies play in
too—seniors or charismatic leaders might dominate
discussions, making it hard for juniors to dissent. And
then group chats amplify the paradox. A
quick poll might show “thumbs up” from everyone,
but those reactions often mask true
feelings. The consequences extend beyond
immediate frustration. On a personal level,
repeatedly going along with unwanted decisions
erodes self-confidence. Over time, this
builds resentment toward group members,
fracturing friendships and collaborations.
Institutionally, it leads to inefficient campus
organisations.
HOW TO AVOID THE ROAD TO ABILENE
So, how do you avoid the road to Abilene? It starts with
cultivating psychological safety. In safe spaces, people
feel free to voice doubts without fear of backlash. This
is what you, as a student, must do.
First, lead by example. In meetings, ask open-ended
questions like, “Is there any reason we shouldn’t do
this?” Second, leaders—whether club presidents or
project captains—should actively invite dissent. Phrases
like “Let’s play devil’s advocate” normalise healthy
debate. In practice, apply this to everyday scenarios.
For that group project, start with a round-robin: Each
person shares pros and cons without interruption. In
social plans, be the one to say, “I’m not feeling it—anyone
else?” It might feel awkward at first, but it prevents
bigger regrets. High-performing teams thrive on dependability
and safety, not just talent.
And remember, silence isn’t golden; it’s often a red
flag. Great leadership is about surfacing unspoken
truths and encouraging psychological safety. Don’t mistake
silence for support.
THE BIGGER PICTURE
College is your training ground for the real world,
where Abilene Paradoxes lurk in workplaces, relationships,
and communities. By learning to spot and
dismantle them now, you’re not just saving time; you’re
building authentic connections. Next time you’re in a
group veering toward an unwanted destination, speak
up. Because avoiding disagreement might feel easier in
the moment, but the real cost comes later, when you’re
halfway to Abilene, and no one’s hungry.